


Home

by EternalElegy



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28215915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalElegy/pseuds/EternalElegy
Summary: Ibara never lived in a place that he considered "home". He came to realise that he had created something else in the idol unit that he had initially built for the sake of domination.Dedicated to Ibara's birthday.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Home

Home. 

For the average child, it was a place of belonging. A place of shelter, a living space, like a house or an apartment. It was a place where they’d return to after going to school, and then they’d relax for a while, then go do their homework, then they’d get a home-cooked dinner by their parents, and they’d play around and laugh and eat and sleep. These things all happened at a place called “home”. People may have moved at times, but that unique sense of belonging was always present. It was a place of security and safety, knowing that they’d receive protection from the elements as well as from the cruel, harsh world outside of their home. 

Ibara never understood the true meaning of “home”. 

The orphanage didn’t count. To him, orphanages were more like temporary holding places for children who didn’t have parents or guardians, and then hopefully some time later the children would find loving families who were willing to adopt them, and along with that they’d be welcomed into a new home where they’d hopefully be able to stay for a while, just like regular people. Ibara simply got shipped off to a military facility. Stale rations were his meals. Drills were his homework. Close combat and shooting practice were his playing-around time. Assembling guns was his relaxation time. Minesweeping were his tests, except if he failed he’d die — literally. The uncomfortable bed that he slept on was just that, not a place to properly rest and reset and say a happy goodbye to the day that just went past. It was supposed to be a place only meant to fulfil his intrinsic need for sleep. Human brains needed sleep, and that was all there was to it.

The last thing Ibara wanted was to call that place “home”. It did nothing to provide him with comfort, shelter, and security. Though… thinking back, it was definitely considered to be safer than being thrown onto an actual battlefield would be.

Moving into a dorm after receiving his inheritance was a significant upgrade when it came to all three of those aforementioned things, for obvious reasons. Society was a different kind of battlefield altogether but that was okay, because Ibara knew that his life wasn’t directly in danger and he wasn’t going to be subjected to all of those physically painful things that happened before anymore. It was all just work, day in, day out. He’d go to school, attend classes, and do his homework like almost everyone his age did, but his relaxation time was all replaced with working at the Cosmic Production offices. 

He was damned determined to leave his mark on the world before dying because he had tasted what it was like to be right at death’s doorstep. With everything he had been offered from the Godfather, he was going to go hard or go home, because he had finally been given the power and control over his life that he so desperately wanted. Even with all of that, his dorm room was still just a place for him to eat and sleep because all humans needed to eat and sleep to live. It was as if his potential to feel “at home” had completely gone and he’d never be able to experience that emotion the way others did.

However, as of recently, Ibara had learned that home didn’t necessarily solely refer to a living space where one spent their time resting in. 

Moving into ES honestly didn’t make things that different. He had become so busy as Cosmic Production’s Vice President that he hardly returned to his dorm room. If anything, his office was more like his living space, considering that he worked, ate, and slept there, but he didn’t really give it much thought. Thinking about “home” was an ultimately useless waste of time because it didn’t help with his work.

Even then, almost everyone had come from a home before they moved to ES, including the rest of his unit. For some reason or another, Hiyori brought it up during one of their scheduled lunches, and while Ibara had every intent to actively participate if only to be involved socially as a producer, he was also ready to think about all of the work he had to do afterwards. That was infinitely more productive compared to talking about menial things like this, after all. These kinds of things didn’t bring him power, or money, or any sort of gain. Besides, it would be best if everyone finished eating as soon as possible and went about their day; Ibara’s schedule was absolutely  _ packed  _ and he certainly couldn’t afford to waste any time talking about unimportant matters, even if it was a conversation that took place in his very own unit that he built from the ground up.

As it turns out, “home” apparently didn’t necessarily mean that it was a healthy environment, and that one could still use the term as a way to simply refer to a living space — but from the way Hiyori spoke of it, there was still some kind of emotion to it that Ibara couldn’t really describe. All of their past pain and suffering happened at “home”. Hiyori had been neglected in favour of his older brother, despite living in the comfort of money. Jun had been physically and potentially emotionally abused, despite having experienced a loving family before. Nagisa had lived in pure isolation with barely any stimulation, despite being sheltered from absolutely any harm that humanity could bring him. Hiyori spoke of his family with love and respect as if he forgave them for everything they did to him, Jun spoke of his suffering so casually that it would have been unsettling to the average person, and Nagisa seemed to think that there was nothing wrong with the way that he was raised. 

None of them came from normal homes, but at the same time, they were still “homes”. If they were still able to use that term despite all of it… could that mean Ibara came from a home? Did the orphanage count as a home? The military facility? The dorm in Shuuetsu? The dorm in ES? 

Hiyori didn’t shut his mouth, continuing to ramble about how he had found a second family in Eden and how at home he felt sitting with them all in the cafeteria, even though they clearly weren’t blood family and they clearly were in some kind of public space where anyone could easily eavesdrop and gather information on them. 

“Home”. There it was again. This time, the “home” Hiyori referred to wasn’t a living space. It was… 

Ibara didn’t understand and he wanted to be able to eat in peace, but he had to be involved in this as Eden’s producer. Hiyori said something really sappy again and Jun commented on how loudly his senior was talking, but Nagisa gently smiled at Hiyori’s words and that was all the validation he needed to keep going along his train of thought. 

Ibara decided that he did not come from a “home”, and that was going to be it. He didn’t have to think about this useless topic anymore. Unfortunately for him, the topic wasn’t completely unavoidable, because it came from an environment that he had unintentionally created. 

* * *

Ibara would have never expected to even remotely know what parenthood would be like in his lifetime.

This whole time, he saw himself as something like a manager, making sure that everything about Nagisa was perfect. He was in charge of many aspects of Nagisa’s life, and that included his diet, his exercise routines, his social media, his business emails, his finances… and pretty much everything else. He gave him some freedom when it came to idol work, however. Ibara did it in an attempt to give himself a little bit of relief from his extremely packed schedule, but at times, he had a couple of regrets. And it was during those times of regret when he thought about how much like an actual parent he was like. He was cooking for Nagisa, talking to the public on behalf of Nagisa, making sure Nagisa was as healthy as he could be… And then Nagisa also acted like a brat sometimes, pulling out his controlling “God Mode” just to get his way, and dragging Ibara into idol work without his permission. 

Ibara couldn’t remember the last time he stress-braided Nagisa’s hair. Ever since he became Cosmic Production’s Vice President, he had pretty much no opportunities to stress-braid. Nagisa’s hair was amazing (although it wasn’t like Ibara had anyone else to compare it to), with the way that it bended easily to the will of Ibara’s fingers, especially after it had been washed, but sometimes Ibara wondered whether this activity was perhaps a little too similar to grooming a pet. As hellish as it was, his experiences in that military facility had made him develop many useful skills, one of which was the precision of whatever handiwork he performed, whether it be assembling guns, or tying up someone else’s hair. He tried not to give too much thought as to why he found braiding to be relaxing. It was an effective way for Ibara’s to relieve stress and Nagisa enjoyed it for some reason, so it was a win-win situation. 

Whenever Ibara called Nagisa a child to his face, he really meant it, delivering the words with a frustrated tone that also contained a kind of exhaustion unique to adults who have had to take care of young humans for a good amount of their lives. Thinking back, Ibara didn’t really know how he managed to maintain his sanity as he took care of Nagisa over the years. The reason was a strong one for sure; Nagisa was his greatest weapon after all, his key to more power and more money, but at the same time, the leader of Eden was also a source of stress due to his unpredictability whenever he was not given instructions to follow. However, taking care of Nagisa wasn’t always a chore. There was a weird sense of satisfaction brought about doing all of this for Nagisa… that’s right. He was just maintaining and polishing his weapon. That was all there was to it. He wasn’t going to listen to that tiny voice in the back of his head telling him that there were other disgusting emotions that were playing a part in this.

Every single time Nagisa got the rare opportunity to see and talk to Ibara, he never failed to show that gentle smile that had all the tenderness in the world. Somehow it was possible for his eyes to display the same sort of affection despite the sharpness and fierceness of those blood orange orbs, and for some reason, that expression always caused Ibara’s mind to stop for a fatal moment. Usually, nothing bad happened whenever his brain froze, but something different happened on a certain day.

“Your Excellency! I told you not to move towards me too suddenly, or I may act on old habits and hurt you accidentally!”

No response.

“Please let me go! Your strength is quite something, but it’s difficult for me to breathe when you’re squeezing me so hard!”   
“... I miss you, Ibara.”

Nagisa’s voice was almost a whisper. Ibara thanked whatever god there was up there that this was happening in the privacy of his office, when they were about to have a business meeting regarding a work opportunity for Adam. Having this happen even in front of Eve would have led to a very embarrassing situation.   
“I’m sorry, but I must remind you that we cannot waste any time! I am very busy-”

Ibara cut himself off as Nagisa’s hug grew even tighter. To be honest, the producer had made that earlier comment in an attempt to get Nagisa to stop and he was actually in no danger of being suffocated, but there was something about the increased amount of body warmth and contact that was making it difficult to think. Ibara realised at this moment that he had never been hugged in his entire life. He also realised that Nagisa was clinging to him like a child who had been separated from their parents for a little too long. 

Ibara tried to push the thought as far back into his mind as he could, but it resurfaced every time he was aware of how rapidly his heart was beating, and then how rapidly Nagisa’s heart was beating too. 

Nagisa looked like the happiest thing in the world when he finally decided to let go of Ibara. Ibara looked at him and decided that yes, he had let Nagisa hug him because his brain was temporarily disabled since he was not accustomed to physical contact and no, he currently was  _ not _ feeling proud of being able to make Nagisa happy. 

“... Your office is cosy, Ibara.”   
“I have no use for a spacious office! I only need enough room for it to be comfortable enough for myself and a small number of guests!”   
“... I wonder what it would be like to sleep here.” 

Ibara knew very well what it was like to sleep in his office considering he did it almost every night, but he knew that if he let Nagisa sleep here for just one night, he was going to treat it like a home and come back to it every day.

* * *

Ibara’s meeting with Hiyori about Eve ended promptly, but Hiyori decided to spice up Ibara’s life a little bit by talking about a certain topic that was completely uncalled for.

It could have been about something remotely useful, like maybe Jun’s performance, or the activity of Hiyori’s fans, or the comments on Hiyori’s own merchandise. Instead, it was about how Eden should totally come over to his place one day and have a sleepover, as if they were children who didn’t have to care about anything except having fun. Ibara declined. Hiyori knew that he’d decline, and even expressed that he knew that Ibara would decline, but that was all part of the process of getting the snake to warm up to his friends, as Hiyori worded it. Ibara didn’t like it one bit, but there was a little voice in the back of his mind that reigned him in, and kept him from exercising his position as a producer to effectively shoo Hiyori away. 

Ibara had no idea what it was like to live in luxury, not that the thought was useful anyway because it was a waste of money, but he realised that people who loved luxury existed and he quickly accepted that he wouldn’t be able to fully understand it. His unintentional listening to Hiyori’s rambles allowed him to obtain some more meaningless information; Hiyori lived in a big mansion with his two parents and older brother, prior to moving into the Reimei dorms. His bedroom was apparently massive. He lived in all of the physical comfort of the world, with servants, butlers, and whatever other things rich people had. Ibara supposed that he wasn’t particularly poor either, but he couldn’t imagine himself living like Hiyori had even if he had the money to.

Hiyori spoke as if there was something missing. He also spoke as if it was somehow okay to not have that missing thing. 

As a producer, of course Ibara knew what it was, not only because it was necessary for him to know of the backgrounds of his talent, but also because Hiyori had dropped hints here and there during their past interactions. Even now, Hiyori was hinting so hard at it that it would have taken a real blockhead to not pick up on it.

It was… attention. Perhaps, Ibara could have also labelled it as love if he had any understanding of the emotion at all.

“... Your Highness.” Ibara started, his words already carefully chosen, interjecting as Hiyori turned to leave the office.   
“Mmm? Finally interested in coming over after I talked about how great my place is? I’m glad to hear that you’ve changed your mind!”   
“I have not! However… there is something that I wish to know.”    
“Oh? What is it?”

“Do you hate your parents?”

It was a useless question. Of course it was a useless question. But Ibara’s curiosity got the better of him for a brief moment, maybe because he thought about his own parents for a moment too long.

Hiyori looked at him for a moment. Ibara always donned a mask so thick that it was impossible to see through it, but over time, he slowly learned that Hiyori was doing the same. 

And Ibara could see it beginning to crack, if only a little.

“It was truly a difficult time, you know! They were all busy with work, trying to make sure that the Tomoe Foundation didn’t collapse completely. I just happened to be caught in the crossfire. That’s all there is to it.”   
“...”   
“Besides, they still loved me.” The upbeat, sunny, radiant Hiyori that the world knew was gone. Hiyori had the option to keep everything up, to remain bright and positive even as he spoke of such a heavy topic, but he chose to take it all off and reveal whatever it was that was underneath. It was a low voice, a tone that Hiyori only used when he was completely serious, but Ibara did not expect the lack of bitterness in those words. “They had the option to throw me away, give me to another family, or even leave me on the streets, but they kept me under that roof. Maybe they looked at my brother more than me, but they fed me and gave me shelter and safety. Wouldn’t you say that’s a sign of love, Ibara?”

“...” Was it really? Ibara’s gut told him otherwise. However, he didn’t want to step in and comment on a topic that he had almost no knowledge and experience on.

“That’s why I try to visit them whenever I can, and especially on my birthdays. They’re the ones who brought me into this world after all, and they raised me to be the person I am today. I’m able to stand on the stage and be all healthy and strong because of their care. Besides, it’s not like I need their attention anymore; I’m an idol now, and one of the best idols in ES, and that’s all thanks to you!” 

There it was again, as Hiyori lit up with that signature smile, instantly flipping the previously-solemn mood upside down. Often, it was incredibly difficult to tell whether those kinds of expressions were real or fake, but as Hiyori went on, Ibara deduced that not all of it was an act.   
“I mean, look at my life now! I get to use all of these beauty products so that my skin is as perfect as possible, I go through all of the necessary self-care to make sure I can sing and dance at my best, I get a slave that I can command around, I can talk to Nagisa-kun a lot, I get fans who talk about me all the time, and I bet a bunch of those papers on your desk are because of me! Yep yep, life is great all because you gave this opportunity to me, Ibara!” 

His years in the business world made Ibara immune to flattery, and his upbringing made him immune to compliments, but he was slow to shake off Hiyori’s words. Too slow.

“Well, I shouldn’t waste any more of your time! You really like saying that idle chatter is useless, so I’ll leave you for real now! Let me know if you ever want to come over, by the way!” Hiyori waved to Ibara before heading towards the door.   
“I’m sure you’re aware of how busy my schedule is, Your Highness! Unfortunately I cannot afford to make such a visit.” 

Hiyori turned and just smiled at him before leaving the office. 

* * *

When Ibara headed to the shower room to change before his gym session, he was already thinking about the documents piled on his desk. However, the presence of a certain other Eden member cut his thoughts out. 

There Jun stood with only his boxers on, drying his hair with a towel. Ibara had apparently entered quietly enough that Jun didn’t notice, but Ibara couldn’t help but notice the small scar close to Jun’s hairline as he ran a hand through his hair. 

Ibara was a very meticulous person and as Eden’s producer, he was sure that he knew the physique of his members very well, but apparently this scene had proved him wrong. Maybe the scar had played a part in Jun’s decision to style his hair in this particular way.

“Hey, Ibara.”    
“Ah, Jun! I see that you have recently finished a workout. I hope that everything went well.”   
“Yeah. How’s work going?”    
“Busy as usual, though it’s nothing that you should concern yourself over.”   
“I’ve got no problems as long as you’re taking care of yourself properly.”

The scar… Ibara wondered how the fans would react if they ever saw the scar. Would they come up with theories on how he was abused? Would they think that he got into some vehicle incident when he was younger? Would they think that Jun got into a fight and the scar was a reminder of a time of violence? 

What would the fans think if they saw the scars that littered Ibara’s body? Would they think he got involved in some frightening accident that caused him severe injury? Would they think he was mutilated in some way? Would they think he had to fight to live when he was younger, and that the scars were a permanent reminder of his cruel past?

Ibara always wanted to lay low and stay out of the spotlight. There were a number of advantages to this. One of them was that it often made opponents underestimate him, as he would never be employing all of his true power, and withholding information was an extremely valuable aspect of being a good businessman. Part of it was to make sure that his own weaknesses were hidden from others, and it so happened that Ibara wasn’t particularly fond of his past as a child soldier in the making. Unfortunately for him, scars weren’t something that could be removed, so he had to make do with making sure that his torso was mostly covered up at all times when he was in a public space.

Usually, Ibara worked out late enough that the shower rooms would be empty by the time he went to the gym, and Jun being here certainly made the atmosphere a little more awkward on Ibara’s side. 

Stripping in front of a person of the same gender was no embarrassing task for normal people, but in this case, Ibara felt awfully exposed, even if the only other person in the room was Jun. The outer shirt went over his head, and then the undershirt, and then he reached for his gym practice shirt that he kept in his bag-   
“Are those scars?” Jun’s voice echoed slightly in the shower room.    
“... Yes, they are. What about them?”   
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but were they from the time when you were in the military facility?”

A couple of memories came flooding back, against Ibara’s will.   
“Yes. How about your scar?”   
“Ah, so you finally saw it.” Jun commented with a chuckle, reaching for his casual shirt. “I’m surprised that you didn’t notice it after all this time, unless you knew but didn’t want to talk to me about it?”   
“No, I honestly didn’t know about it. It’s quite well hidden.”   
“Yeah. I’m thankful that it is.”   
“May I ask how you got it?”

Jun paused for a moment, his eyes flickering ever so slightly. Ibara knew that look very well. It was the look of someone thinking about something that wasn’t particularly pleasant.    
“Ah, well… my old man used to beat me every now and then when things weren’t going his way.” He looked down at his belongings, a small smile on his features as if he didn’t want Ibara to pity him too much. “He used a variety of things. Sometimes it was just his hand. Sometimes it was a belt. That one time…” Jun let a hollow, empty laugh ring out. Ibara remembered Hiyori going on and on about how good Jun’s voice was when the two of them first joined Eden, and Ibara would never have guessed that he’d hear it talk and laugh with this kind of tone. “Yeah. I went to hospital for the first time in my life. Before, I was curious about what happened inside a hospital, because you had to be sick to get inside. I never would have known that… I had to go through all of that to get there.”

Jun pulled the shirt over his head. Ibara performed a similar action with his gym attire. The air had grown so thick that Ibara couldn’t speak through it even if he tried.   
“But well, that’s all in the past, right? It’s been a while since I’ve seen my old man, and plus, I’ve been able to become what I’ve always dreamed of being. Not only that, but I even got a chance to get along with my father again, and that’s all thanks to you, you know~?”    
“...” Being spoken to on a personal level never failed to make Ibara uncomfortable, especially when it was something on a positive note.   
“I know that I’m just one person and that ultimately I’m just an idol you manage, but you made things so much better for me. If you weren’t there to recruit Ohii-san and Nagi-senpai, I wouldn’t have been picked up, and well… I wouldn’t be here right now. I might still be back there with my father; maybe something even worse could have happened if I didn’t get away from there when I did. You really changed my whole world. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.” 

“How about you thank me by making sure you pay the appropriate rent and perform your best?” Ibara saw the chance and took it. “That way, you can continue being an idol, I can continue being successful, and it’s a win-win situation~!”   
“Hah, is that what this is about?”   
“Of course, I expect no less than 110% from you! How are we going to stay at the top of ES if we don’t put in that level of effort?”   
“I know I can do that, but what about you? You’re so busy being our producer and a vice president, I’m afraid that our little place won’t hold if you fall behind~”   
“Rest assured that I can manage my time and energy very, very well! I don’t intend on putting in any less effort than the likes of you, His Highness, and His Excellency!”

Their eyes met, with that same grin that they had displayed to each other so many times in the past. While Jun was the least talented idol of Eden and Ibara was the producer, somehow there was a unique connection that came from being in the same grade that allowed them to transgress all of their positions and ranks and standings and talk to each other as true equals.    
“I better get going now, since I have to rest up for tomorrow.” Jun finished changing and gathered his belongings to leave the shower room. “Make sure not to collapse from taking care of Eden while being Nagi-senpai’s mom~!”   
“That’s rich, coming from you. His Highness is a much less agreeable child, so you should watch your own health too!”

The banter ended there. Ibara had to admit that he went into the gym session with a noticeably better mood.

* * *

Out of all the ways Ibara expected Nagisa to use his power as the leader of the unit, he never would have thought that it would come down to this.

All of Eden were gathered around a table that evening in the recreation room with some kind of board game that Nagisa had purchased during a shopping trip with Hiyori. Of course, Ibara had never heard of such a board game, but it seemed that the rest of his unit had some experience with it and that didn’t particularly sit well with him. Nagisa was very happy to explain the game to the producer. It was about… property investment? Most of the game was controlled by, in fact, not the players but the rolls of a dice. Ibara didn’t like not having absolute control over any situation, but he supposed that, as unrealistic as this game was, luck was certainly an important part to being successful in the business world as well.

While they were playing, there was an awful amount of chatter from Hiyori, who was spending more mental energy reminiscing about the time he previously played the game with Nagisa than actually playing the game. Jun quietly listened along, not interjecting if only because his senior was giving him no opportunity to do so. Ibara was doing the same, though he quickly found that he was silent not because he had no intention of participating in idle chatter, but because he was busy thinking about how he got into this situation, and why this was making him think about his child self.

Ibara reflected on the events that happened a few hours prior. Nagisa had gone out shopping with Hiyori without letting him know, and then he brought up that he would like to play the board game during the dinner that Ibara managed to arrange. Hiyori’s excitement levels went through the roof, like he was actually a five-year-old child and not a productive adult member of society. Jun’s reaction wasn’t nearly as energetic, but there was something about his expression that told Ibara that he was questioning whether the scene happening in front of him was real or not. Nagisa, the god-like idol with god-like talent and a god-like voice and god-like stage presence, eagerly asking the rest of his unit members to spend time playing a game together? Well, Ibara supposed that adults did socialise too, but this Nagisa was very far from the image that he presented to the rest of the world. 

It was more like the child within him had come to the surface, and its existence had been suppressed until now.

Of course, Ibara tried to escape, but it was futile as Nagisa effectively dragged him to the recreation room, with Jun following obediently (partially because he didn’t want to suffer the same fate). 

Activities that weren’t related to making money or gaining power and control were useless to Ibara. Utterly, completely useless. That much he knew, and had always known ever since he stepped foot in the business world. Even just having  _ fun _ was not allowed when he was in the military facility. 

And yet, he found himself getting lost in the game, in the emotional rollercoaster that the rest of his unit was going through as everyone’s imaginary monetary assets changed in value, in the home that he had created in his very own idol unit. 

It was just a simple board game, and yet everyone looked like they were having the time of their lives, perhaps because none of them had yet to experience what a proper childhood was like. Hiyori’s energy levels reached heights never seen before, Nagisa’s expressiveness reached heights never seen before, and the frequency of Jun’s smiles and laughter reached heights never seen before. They were  _ happy _ . Truly, truly  _ happy _ . Maybe this was what family was supposed to be about, and it all boiled down to such a simple emotion.

Ibara wasn’t coming anywhere close to truly understanding what “home” meant, but maybe moments like these could help him realise the importance and value in this home he had found.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday, Ibara! Even though it was almost a month and a half late... oops. 
> 
> A big thank you to [gigi (@amagiiz)](https://twitter.com/amagiiz?s=20) for beta reading this work!


End file.
